I would say I like to crochet, but that implies a soft side which I lack grotesquely. The best thing to say is that I’m the biggest disappointment my father has ever known- which is really good for you humans. The… entity had great plans for me. Too bad. I’m no one’s bitch. I don’t come on command and I don’t fetch. What I do is kick the culo loco of anyone who gets near me showing anything other than utmost respect and fear. Yeah, I am that guy. I don’t care if you like me. I don’t care if you hate me. But you will get out of my way, speed bump. And you better do it fast. You see, I wasn’t born in this time or place. I came of age at a time when it was kill or be killed. You either ate the monkey or the monkey played bells with your skeleton. The good news is, I’ve stood strong for a long time. The bad news… I don’t know how much longer I can hold out. May the gods help all of you then.